i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
