i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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