Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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