If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
