Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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