Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
