haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I want her autograph on my taint
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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