I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
