Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
