I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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