Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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