They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
