Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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