the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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