you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
