there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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