you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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