You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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