I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He called his prostate his "boner button".
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
