I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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