I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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