i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
