Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
