Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
