Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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