just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I pour the whiskey from now on
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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