Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He told me they were just razor bumps!
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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