East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
