they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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