I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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