you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
