If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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