Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
