She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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