Please, let me fuck your mom
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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