So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i think i have herpe
just one?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
