Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
