I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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