I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
