i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
