We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
