so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Randomize
