You're completely useless in the revolution.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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