just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I can feel your judgement through the phone
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
