I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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