the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
