Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
