I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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