I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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