I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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