I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
