Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
