Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
